Unutterable tenderness

O Lord, Jesus Christ,
who art as the shadow of a great rock
in a weary land,
who beholdest thy weak creatures
weary of labour, weary of pleasure,
weary of hope deferred, weary of self;
in thine abundant compassion,
and fellow feeling with us,
and unutterable tenderness,
bring us, we pray thee,
unto thy rest.

I came across this beautiful prayer by my favourite poet, Christina Rossetti. I have been wondering, that God, being all powerful and all knowing, knowing the end of all things, being completely in control, and not worried or anxious or frustrated by the present or the future, does His heart really break, as people say, when our hearts break? Or does He only see the final outcome and feel happy and satisfied? Does He feel our pain or sadness when we face different things, or does He only see the necessity of the trial for the work it does in perfecting us?

This prayer, and the words;

abundant compassion

unutterable tenderness

have been floating around in my head, and I was asking ‘Really God? Really?’

And I was reading a book about Jesus, coming to earth as a baby, fully human. And there it was, for this very reason:

So it is evident that it was essential that He be made like His brethren in every respect, in order that He might become a merciful (sympathetic) and faithful High Priest in the things related to God, to make atonement and propitiation for the people’s sins. (Hebrews 2:17)

For we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a shared feeling with our weaknesses and infirmities and liability to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. (Hebrews 4:15)

With unutterable tenderness, He feels with us.  With abundant compassion, He longs to draw us into a place of rest in Him.

Waiting and watching

To wait! That means to pause and soberly consider our own inadequacy and the Lord’s all-sufficiency and to seek counsel and help from the Lord and to hope in Him (Psalm 33:20-22; Isaiah 8:17). Israel is rebuked that “they did not wait for his counsel” (Psalm 106:13). Why? Because in not seeking and waiting for God’s help, they robbed God of an occasion to glorify Himself.

For example, in Isaiah 30:15, 16 the Lord says to Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” But Israel refused to wait for the Lord and said, “No! We will flee upon horses.”

Then in verse 18 the folly and evil of this self-initiated frenzy is revealed: “The Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” The folly of not waiting for God is that we forfeit the blessing of having God work for us. The evil of not waiting for God is that we oppose God’s will to exalt Himself in mercy.

-John Piper, Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist (Multnomah, 2003) p.170-71

Food for thought

I received a link to this blog post, and it made such an impression on me (I thought the summary was really excellent) that I have decided to post pretty much the whole thing here. I could relate to all of the points mentioned below and has given me some things to think about. I’d love to hear your thoughts:

Craig M. Gay, in his book The Way of the (Modern) World: Or, Why It’s Tempting to Live As If God Doesn’t Exist (Eerdmans, 1998), seeks to expose the symptoms of worldliness in the postmodern world. The organization of the book is quite thoughtful and the author builds a new theme off the previously theme, eventually tying all the themes together.

In a very basic form, the book develops around five progressive building blocks:

(a) Control—Man seeks to control his world through technology and rationalism. By this he refers to the impulse in the postmodern heart to control every area of life through technology, not merely to improve certain areas of life.

(b) Secularity—The aspirations of the modern man to this techno-rational control of the world leave little room for any god, save the “self-defining self.” God—if ever referenced at all—becomes a “god of the gaps,” a god whose necessity is limited to the areas of life that are outside of our control. Think “acts of god.”

(c) Individualism—The forces of control and secularity combine to encourage individualization, a fix-it-yourself mentality that breaks apart personal relationships and community.

(d) Anxiety—Man becomes an individualized self. But “the assumption of godlike responsibilities has turned out to be a heavy burden and that we have become increasingly anxious beneath the weight of this burden” (p. 308).

(e) Impatience—Combine control, secularity, individualism, and the anxiety from these godlike responsibilities and you end up with “what is possibly the master theme of modernity, and now of ‘postmodernity’: that of impatience” (p. 308).

This progression is helpful. And when the author begins to weave together the anxious impatience of our world his work really proves practical. Because, as Christians, we are called to cultivate an eschatological worldview and the spiritual disciplines of waiting and watching, distinctives directly undermined by modern forms of worldliness.

I mention the five building blocks of his book because it provides an introduction to an important quote from the conclusion on the topic of “anxious impatience.” Gay writes:

…anxious impatience is evident in virtually all aspects of modern social and cultural existence, and not least in the increasingly frantic pace with which so much of life is carried on today. It is largely by reason of impatient frustration, after all, that we have been persuaded to try to perform the functions of the hidden—and, indeed, seemingly absent—God.

“God is either unwilling or incapable of helping us,” we say in effect, “therefore we have no choice but to help ourselves, to take matters into our own hands, and to try to engineer a habitable environment for ourselves.” Ironically, it is this same anxious impatience that has consequently moved us to surrender ourselves so naively to the dehumanizing techniques of the modern world.

Indeed, it is anxious haste that has incited us to mortgage ourselves to technical rationality for the sake of its promise of control. “After we have taken control of the world,” so we tell ourselves, implying that taking control of the world must somehow enable us to take control of ourselves, “then we will discover how to be human persons again.” But the horizon keeps receding, and we always seem to be waiting for the promised control to be established.

The longer we are forced to wait, however, the more anxious we become; and the more anxious we become, the more prone we are to placing what little hope we have left into the possibility of technical-rational control, and thus to giving ourselves over to dehumanizing modern systems; and so forth. It is an unfortunately vicious cycle.

Modern secular society is thus a culture of anxious impatience, a culture in which so much stress has been placed upon human abilities and human agency that the modern mind has effectively lost the ability to trust anything, or more importantly anyone, else.

—Craig M. Gay, The Way of the (Modern) World: Or, Why It’s Tempting to Live As If God Doesn’t Exist (Eerdmans, 1998), pp. 310–311.

I think the thing that really stood out for me, the words that really shouted out at me, were the words waiting and watching. Oh how I hate to wait! It is the exact opposite of what we have been taught by society; act! make it happen!

I have just been re-reading passage from Piper’s book Desiring God, dealing with waiting, and I’ll share about that in my next post.

Surrender

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Saviour both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled

In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness

Sweetly Broken- Jeremy Riddle

Belonging

Of all the the photos I took in Paris- including the Louvre, Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower… my favourites are these I have put together in the album below. It doesn’t show any great work of art, it isn’t some great tourist attraction, it is about our humanness. I keep coming back to these photos because I relate. To the need for acceptance and belonging, and in some ways I understand why my best friend became a goth, and I understand why people colour their hair purple, why they wear strange piercings and dog collars. It is to shatter expectations. It is to say: I am not like you, but will you accept me anyway?

After some discussion over at Ed’s blog a while ago about church, I started thinking what I can do to be better with people (at church) and anywhere really. And I thought about my homegroup back in Durban, and why I was able to stay there. It was because of acceptance. We were a funny group- there were two 15-year olds, a 20-year old surfer dude/heavy metal [christian] rocker, a mentally disabled 23-year-old, an african with some strange political ideas- on crutches with one leg way shorter than the other due to childhood polio, me with my hang-ups and cynicism, and our leaders- probably the only ‘normal’ ones- a young couple with great faith in God, always loving, always accepting. We were all so different, but all accepted; we belonged, no matter what we did or said.

And I made list of how to accept/love people better (at church) but anywhere really:

- You know the one you have nothing in common with? The one with the odd sense of humour? Go and talk to them anyway.

- You know the one with the chip on their shoulder? The cynical one, with the sarcastic comments? Invite them for  lunch.

- You know the loner, who never talks? Include them anyway, don’t expect them to say anything.

- Enough with the judgements.

- Don’t expect them to be like you, they are not and that’s ok, love them anyway.

- Even if they say the ‘wrong’ things, love them anyway.

In time, their hearts will open and soften, they’ll say less ‘wrong’ things, the cynicism and sarcasm will melt away. Because all anyone really needs is acceptance and love.

Light

It is never a good idea to contemplate darkness. It will suck you in and hurl you into the pit of despair.

In fact, the Bible admonishes us to think of good things, of pure things, of everything that is beautiful and worthy of praise. (Phil 4:8)

But sometimes when all you see are the poor on every street corner, when all you see is hope dying in young eyes, when you see families torn apart, when you see corruption and lies, when the whole world seems to be groaning under the weight of darkness, sometimes the darkness overwhelms.

And I asked ‘Why God? Why so much darkness when You are Light?’ And I wrestled with my faith, I wondered what is the point of being in the light when darkness seems to consume everything?

God, in His grace, tolerates our wanderings. It reminds me of Job, when God said to him ‘Who are you to question Me?’

Where were you when I established the earth?
Tell Me, if you have understanding.

Who fixed its dimensions? Certainly you know!
Who stretched a measuring line across it?

What supports its foundations?
Or who laid its cornerstone

while the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Who enclosed the sea behind doors
when it burst from the womb,

when I made the clouds its garment
and thick darkness its blanket,

when I determined its boundaries
and put bars and doors in place,

when I declared: “You may come this far, but no farther;
your proud waves stop here”?

Have you ever in your life commanded the morning
or assigned the dawn its place… (Job 38:4-12)

This reminded me of who I am, and who I am not. I am not the Sovereign God of the universe, I cannot see from afar, I cannot see the whole picture, and it isn’t my burden to carry:

And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and the boundaries of their dwellings, so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; or in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of your own poets have said, “For we are also His offspring.” (Acts 17:26-28)

But I am His light to the world, and I can be the light in my corner of darkness. I can be the arms holding the hurt, the healing hands, and the love of Jesus, offering His hope and the light to every person I encounter in my corner of the world. I cannot save the world, but I don’t have to because Jesus already did.

Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the LORD is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and deep darkness the people; but the LORD will arise over you, and His glory will be seen upon you. (Isaiah 60:1-2 )

Funny

A few weeks ago, my work laptop was stolen.

Do you believe a computer can tell whether a human voice is lying?

I really don’t. I believe in the validity of lie-detector tests, but a voice test? Seriously?

Yesterday I had to go for a voice-test to prove that I didn’t, in fact, steal my own laptop.

Or, as the nineteen-year old performing the test put it:

‘Are you sure the laptop was stolen? You didn’t just misplace it?’

So tell me, when last did you misplace your laptop?

Meaningless

I walked into the staff lounge as she was telling about the ‘existential crisis’ she had experienced as a teenager:

‘I just realised one day,’ she said ‘you struggle through school, then you struggle through university, just to get a good job, then you struggle through a job that you hate for the rest of your life, and then you die. It’s all so meaningless… But eventually you buy into life, because what other choice do we have?’

‘Good point.’ I thought as I popped the milk into the microwave…’ But what about Jesus?’

As if her friend had heard my thoughts she replied:

‘And then there is organised religion which you get forced into and brainwashed as a child… and when you realise that there is nothing in that, what are you left with?’

Why do they call it ‘organised’? I wondered as I stirred coffee into the milk… ‘And what about Jesus?’

‘But I’m reading this book now’ she happily continued ‘it’s really weird but I think you will like it. It is all about how we create everything and everything we create is an illusion. Just like we created god. Just like every experience we create is an illusion. It’s not real.’

‘Sounds like the matrix’ I thought as I walked out, coffee in hand.

But as I kept on walking I was filled with sadness, for them, for me, for all the searching people. And I thought about Solomon:

Vapor of vapors and futility of futilities, says the Preacher. Vapor of vapors and futility of futilities! All is vanity (emptiness, falsity, and vainglory).

What profit does man have left from all his toil at which he toils under the sun? [Is life worth living?]

And I applied myself by heart and mind to seek and search out by human wisdom all human activity under heaven. It is a miserable business which God has given to the sons of man with which to busy themselves. I have seen all the works that are done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity, a striving after the wind and a feeding on wind. (Ecclesiastes 1v1,2,13,14)

He sounds like he was also experiencing an ‘existential crisis’. But what is the conclusion of one of the wisest men ever to have lived?

All has been heard; the end of the matter is: Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is] and keep His commandments, for this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation, the object of God's providence, the root of character, the foundation of all happiness, the adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun] and the whole duty for every man. (Ecc 12v13)

All our seeking, the whole search for meaning, it will always come to nothing without Jesus.

His Prayer

I have been sitting on this prayer all week. The prayer Jesus prayed for us before He left the earth.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes it feels like He really just left us. And it feels alone and like we have to deal with life by ourselves. So His prayer for us to His Father has been a great comfort.  It is a beautiful prayer- His earnest prayer for us to His Father:

I am praying for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those You have given Me, for they belong to You.

All things that are Mine are Yours, and all things that are Yours belong to Me; and I am glorified through them. [They have done Me honor; in them My glory is achieved.]

And now I am no more in the world, but these are still in the world, and I am coming to You. Holy Father, keep in Your Name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are one.

While I was with them, I kept and preserved them in Your Name. Those You have given Me I guarded and protected, and not one of them has perished or is lost except the son of perdition [Judas Iscariot--the one who is now doomed to destruction, destined to be lost], that the Scripture might be fulfilled.

And now I am coming to You; I say these things while I am still in the world, so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them [that they may experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that they may have My gladness within them, filling their hearts].

I have given and delivered to them Your word (message) and the world has hated them, because they are not of the world [do not belong to the world], just as I am not of the world.

I do not ask that You will take them out of the world, but that You will keep and protect them from the evil one.

They are not of the world (worldly, belonging to the world), just as I am not of the world.

Sanctify them [purify, consecrate, separate them for Yourself, make them holy] by the Truth; Your Word is Truth.

Just as You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.

And so for their sake and on their behalf I sanctify (dedicate, consecrate) Myself, that they also may be sanctified (dedicated, consecrated, made holy) in the Truth.

Neither for these alone do I pray [it is not for their sake only that I make this request], but also for all those who will ever come to believe in (trust in, cling to, rely on) Me through their word and teaching,

That they all may be one, just as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us, so that the world may believe and be convinced that You have sent Me.

I have given to them the glory and honor which You have given Me, that they may be one [even] as We are one:

I in them and You in Me, in order that they may become one and perfectly united, that the world may know and definitely recognize that You sent Me and that You have loved them even as You have loved Me.

Father, I desire that they also whom You have entrusted to Me [as Your gift to Me] may be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory, which You have given Me [Your love gift to Me]; for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.

O just and righteous Father, although the world has not known You and has failed to recognize You and has never acknowledged You, I have known You continually; and these men understand and know that You have sent Me.

I have made Your Name known to them and revealed Your character and Your very Self, and I will continue to make You known, that the love which You have bestowed upon Me may be in them felt in their hearts and that I may be in them. (John 17:9-26)

He understands. This prayer is so personal, as here He intercedes for us, that God Himself would keep and protect us from the world.

Where are You?

where are You?
and why have You left me?
i can’t go on
i don’t think i can
make it through God

where are You?
and why have You left me?
i really haven’t a clue God
i’m lost and confused

where are You?
and why have You left me?
.

He never left
i turned away
He is still right
where He was
before i walked
away arms
open, calling me
to Him
.

where are You?
and why have You left me God?
it’s dark and i cannot
see You
there is so much
noise
and I cannot
hear You

where are You?
and why have You left
me Lord?
my feet ache
from walking so far
my mouth is dry
and thirsty
my heart is hard
and hurting God
where are You
and why have You left
me?
.
.
.
“When you walked away
I followed
You didn’t listen
But I called
Yet you kept
walking
And I kept
following
pursuing
your heart
Now your heart
has changed
And your surroundings
consume you
But I’m still
here
Right here
Beside you”

“…I will never leave you, nor forsake you.” Joshua 1:5